A man has agreed to be one of his friend’s bridesmaids at her wedding, but some of the bridal party isn’t happy about it.
In a recent post on Reddit’s popular “Am I the A—— (AITA)” thread, a 29-year-old user explained how his best friend, Stephanie, 30 — whom he’s known since high school — asked him to be a bridesmaid.
He explained that Stephanie is bisexual and the majority of their friend group is queer, telling Reddit users that they’d never had a romantic relationship and Stephanie has known his wife, 32, since they started dating.
“She was even at our wedding. While she didn’t stand up at the wedding as it was only blood family in both wedding parties, she did come to my bachelor party,” the poster said of the bride-to-be.
After Stephanie started planning her wedding, she asked the Reddit user to be a part of her bridal squad, which he said “makes sense” since he doesn’t know Stephanie’s fiancé, 30, as well as her.
madisonwi/Getty
“At first, I was a little taken aback. I mean, I’m a dude, so I wasn’t sure what that would even look like. But Stephanie explained that she wanted me in the bridal party because of all we have been through together and how much of an impact I have made on her life,” he wrote.
“It makes sense I guess, because she also isn’t about traditional gender roles, she just wanted people who loved her and would be there for her on her special day. Honestly, I thought it was kind of a cool idea,” the user continued, adding that he “said yes.”
“It felt like a great honor to be part of such a special moment in Stephanie’s life. I figured I’d just wear a suit the same color as the bridesmaids dresses, help with whatever was needed and support her the way I always had,” he shared.
However, he admitted things got “messy” once some of the bridesmaids found out about Stephanie’s decision.
The user said he gets along with all the bridesmaids, but only really knows one, adding, “Let’s just say they’re less than thrilled about me being a bridesmaid. A couple of them texted me privately suggesting I shouldn’t come to the bachelorette party and some saying I should drop out of the bridal party.”
Docinets Vasil/Getty
“They said it’s going to make the whole thing uncomfortable especially since one of the stops is at a lesbian bar. One of them even joked that I should ‘just stick to the bachelor party.’ I mean I know the guy a fair amount but not that well,” he wrote, insisting he understands it’s not the “norm,” but doesn’t see why it “should be a big deal.”
The Reddit user added, “Stephanie obviously wanted me there, and I’m doing it because I care about her, not to make anyone uncomfortable or to make a statement. But the other bridesmaids are making it a thing, and I’m starting to feel like I might be causing drama where there doesn’t need to be any.”
He insisted that Stephanie’s fiancé and his wife “have no issues with this at all,” adding that they regularly have double dates.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
In the comments section, most people sided with the poster. “It’s her big day, not theirs! If the other ‘bridesmaids’ don’t like it perhaps they should drop out of the bridal party. What the bride wants is what should be concerning them; not what they think is proper,” one insisted.
Another wrote, “Seeing as those women are not the bride they have no business thinking their opinions matter here.”
A different commenter suggested, “Let the bride know about these conversations from her supposed friends if you haven’t already. I’m sure she won’t be happy with her other friends trying to dictate her parties.”
“The BRIDE asked you. She wants you as a bridesmaid. Unless the groom has an objection, nobody else’s opinion is relevant,” one insisted.
